You would think…
Soul searching… it’s a term often used lightly in western society, however how much of a search is it. Honestly, you would think that the “soul” stays with the body, so you wouldn’t have to look that far. Yet through my own experiences I’ve found that it can be called nothing less than an exodus, with numerous walls to climb and topple along the way.
So why am I going of on this sort of erroneous tangent? It’s quite simple really, I can only write from my experiences and this is the most recent of them. At least it counts as the most difficult. I have been forced to confront myself on some difficult issues. These are issues that I have recognized as being issues for quite some time, and yet never before was I driven to resolve them. As I look I’m finding that the first step, which is simply identifying and admitting the problem, is exasperating. Whether it’s verbally spoken, hand written, or typed I just can’t seem to clearly describe what the problem actually is.
So how does one confront themselves on their most difficult issues? While it has been said to be impossible, so it was said about my sobering up and rediscovering my intellect. I’m also finding that talking to other people doesn’t seem to help, as they are more interested in telling you what to do than listening to the entire issue. Yet I haven’t actually tried talking to myself yet, because even tho I’m far-gone enough to make it an actual two way conversation I’m still not sure if I could keep the personal bias from interfering. Meditation, in my personal experience, is also overrated. Yet again, this would be because I don’t like sitting in the stiff posture which eastern meditation tends to employ. I find it to be a distraction, and it doesn’t help in the moment. Granted studies show that those who meditate 30 minutes a day turn out to be less stressed and show more brain stimulation… but that doesn’t really help me much.
To return to the subject, I really will have to explore the history and influence of the aforementioned issues. Because I know them to be causing problems, however my only solutions are cosmetic and would do little to treat the internal schism which is causing my distress.
